He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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