are you still at the devil's house?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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