i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
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