I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
