he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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