I CAN MOONWALK!
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Randomize
