WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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