I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
