I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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