My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
