i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
