she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
