just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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