Cold hands, warm shart.
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Dicks are not precious.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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