did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
