I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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