Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
