Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Michael Bay diarrhea
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
