He is such a slut. More and more my type.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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