Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
