It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize