Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
