i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
