I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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