Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
we're making bets on your personal life
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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