No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
