Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
