I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
