Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
