do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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