How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Randomize
