Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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