Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
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