Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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