I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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