Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
