Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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