I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
