you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
