I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
A bitchslap is in order.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
