We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
