if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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