if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
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