I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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