Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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