so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
