Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
We had to coat check the pizza.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
