There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
