im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
