I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
