PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
